10 Signs That You Are a Parent to a "THREE-NAGER"

My daughter is three, and I'm counting down the days until she's four.

I'm pretty sure she's going to go to bed on the eve of her fourth birthday as a difficult and opinionated little girl, but that when she wakes up the next morning, she'll be the sweet and gentle girl that I always knew she would become.

I don't care if it's not based on science. On days like today, it's all I'm holding on to, so I'm going to choose to believe it.

This past year with her has taught me a lot - mostly about patience and understanding. You can't imagine why? Then you have probably never parented a three-naged girl. Here are ten signs that you are in the same boat as me:

1) 98% of all conversations involve bodily functions or fluid. I've reached my limit talking about poop. For those of you who know me, you know this is a big deal.

2)  You say you’re going hiking, she wants to wear plastic heels.  You say you’re going to a farm, she wants to wear plastic heels.  You say you’re going to church, she wants to wear boots with mud still on them from the previous fall.

3) You speak Disney when it comes to hair.  For example, this morning I asked A, “How do you  want me to do your hair?”

“I’ll keep it like Rapunzel, Mom.”

That means she wants to wear her hair down.

If she wants it all up, that’s Cinderella hair.  If she wants braided low pigtails, that’s Anna hair.  One braid off to the side is Elsa hair. Sides up is Belle hair. This is a science, and if you don't speak the language, then you better brace yourself for what's sure to follow.

4) If you say “no" to her fashion requests- or any requests, for that matter – she will go from happy to hurricane in three nanoseconds, flailing her body on the floor in a quasi-seizing motion and emitting sounds so ear-splitting you think neighbors just may call social services.

5) After said tantrum, as you’re evaluating your own behavior to see if it is the catalyst for her outburst, you’ll have a quasi-breakdown yourself, in which large quantities of chocolate, cake, or chocolate cake is consumed.

6) This will be bad because of the calories, but good because you’ll realize that she doesn't act this way because you do:  

You EAT your emotions!

7)  And then she’ll come and place her head in your lap, and ask for you to read to her.  She’ll tell you she loves you and ask if she can wear a dress the next day and if you could, too, so she could look like you.

8) And then you'll melt and think about how sweet she actually is.

9) You'll decide that maybe she does take after you, after all.

10) And in the end, you'll declare that perhaps - just maybe - she can stay your "three-nager" for just awhile longer.