Husker Football: What it Means to 'Non-Nebraskans'

I've been thinking a lot about Husker football.

Not Bo. Not Ameer. Not the celebrations of the year or the controversies of the week.

I've been contemplating the very idea of the scarlet and cream football team. I've tried to ignore the specific players and coaches and have really concentrated on what our state's pride and joy means to me - what it means to all 'Non-Nebraskans' who shudder at being called just that: a NON.

When I first moved to Colorado, I waited until the very last possible moment to change my license plates. The green-and-white mountains seemed so impersonal compared to the scene of the Nebraska sunset.  The lack of two numerical digits at the beginning of the plate particularly bothered me: I already felt lost among a sea of city dwellers; now my car was virtually indistinguishable from all of the rest as well. I mean, the horror! How will they know where I'm from?

While I've gotten used to living in Colorado, I have yet to give up and call myself Coloradan. The reason is simple:

I'm proud to be from Nebraska, and I don't want to lose that identity.

Which brings me back to Husker football.

People from other states just don't get it.  They are spoiled with the riches of multiple college and professional teams. Their populations are such that they can be divided in who they root for, in who their family supports.

But Nebraskans have never cared about being rich. And we certainly will never be divided. Our unicameral legislature is just one example of that.

In Nebraska, weddings are planned so they don't coincide with game day. There is a genuine and valid fear that your wedding either won't be attended, or that it will be attended with the pastor pausing the ceremony to ask someone in the crowd - armed with a phone and 4G - what the score of the game is. And if the wedding happens to take place hours after a loss? Well, talk about a mood killer.

In Nebraska, over 90% of Lincoln's population wears Husker gear on game day.  It's not a scientific study, but one based on the power of observation: see if you can leave Lincoln on a Saturday night in the fall without literally seeing red.

In Nebraska, little boys pretend to be Husker football players every day on the playground at recess.  It's not surprising to find second graders capable of rattling off the vast majority of Husker starters and to even throw in some stats.

In Nebraska, everyone has a great understanding of the game and an opinion to go with it.  It both annoys and impresses me during game time.

In Nebraska, we haven't won a National Championship for almost two decades, but you wouldn't know it.

Because in Nebraska, the farmer mentality is to remain loyal in the hard times, to sometimes shake your head in disbelief, but say, "There's always next year."

For me, that's the reason why I have such a hard time being a 'Non-Nebraskan'.  It's because Husker football and Nebraska culture are so intertwined that I feel like a traitor, switching teams by admitting I live in another state.


This past weekend, I got to go to my first writer's conference here in Denver.  I met with a literary agent who asked me where I was from.

"Denver," I replied.  "But I'm originally from Nebraska."

There was no reason to say it, but there it was, pouring out of me like an excuse of some kind.

"No way!" she replied.  "My parents are, too." She nodded to her phone. "I just checked the score. We're ahead."

And thus began a conversation that lasted five minutes into my ten minute pitch session.  Will I ever be represented by her? Probably not. I mean, c'mon, I barely had time to tell her about my book.  But did it matter to me?

Weirdly, no.

Not because Husker football is more important to me, but because what Husker football represents is.

It's the comradery a person in California experiences when he pulls up next to a car who has a Husker bumper-sticker, and the disappointment he feels when he can't get the person's attention to show them his own.

It's the way you can go to a "Husker Bar" in virtually any state to cheer alongside fans.

It's the way you can spy a Nebraska shirt halfway across a store in another state, compliment the person for their choice in hoodie, and strike up a conversation based on where they or their family members are from.

It's the way you can meet another person with ties to a state you love, to a team you've grown up watching, and immediately feel as though you've found a friend.


Today - and the rest of all Saturdays - I know there will be celebrations.  There will be controversy.  There will be incredible wins and agonizing loses.  There will be opinions about coaches and players and comments and plays.

But today - and the rest of all Saturdays - there will remain something larger than a game.

It's the dream we had as children, combined with the passion we have as adults.  It's the pride and the love and the friendliness and the perseverance that gives a platform to Husker Football.

And it's the thing that all Nebraskans-at-heart (even the 'nons') can bank on to get them through another week.

It's the true meaning of Husker football.

GBR.

Kim and Miley, Meet Pure Dixie

Kim Kardashian. 

I look at her, and my jaw drops.  She is stunning in the way that I imagine Helen of Troy to be.  My hair will never shine like hers, and I will never be able to perfect a sultry stare under lengthy lashes.  Having children of my own, I can’t believe how amazing her body is after carrying a child just over a year ago.  Her style is inspirational for women who love fashion, and at the very least it catches the eye of people like me, who have no fashion sense whatsoever.

She is a beautiful woman.  Just gorgeous.

And despite really, really, trying not to like her at all, there are quite a few reasons why I admire Miley Cyrus as well.

I mean, come on. The girl shaved half of her hair off and still looks feminine. How is that even possible? She was thrust into the limelight at such a crazy, young, insecure age, and she tried for years to hide her adolescent mistakes in order to be what people wanted to her to be. And through it all, she built an empire: a business that went far beyond her musical talent.  When she sings – especially with no help from machines, foam fingers, or giant teddy bears – she makes me listen with my ears and my heart.  She has a strong, throaty voice that drips with emotion, and emotion is the reason we all listen to music, anyway.

She is so incredibly talented.  What a gift God has given her.

By society's standards, these two women are successful, and I can see why.

But I wish they could see beyond our world's definition of success. I wish they could see past the temporary highs and beyond the idolatry of money. I wish they would use their gifts in such a way that we want to worship our God for creating people like them, for giving us just a glimpse of the beauty and talent that He possesses whenever we revel in their beauty and talent.

But my heart breaks because the rare beauty in them is being masked by their brokenness.

Kim Kardashian recognizes that her beauty and physique are her brand. Desperate to push that brand forward, she posed nude for all to see. But Kim Kardashian, your body is more than beautiful.

It is sacred.

I just wish you knew that.

Miley Cyrus knows she’s talented, so she has surrounded herself with people who will only tell her how perfect she is, ones who will allow her to do tragic things and even give her a pat on the back for it.

But Miley Cyrus, those drugs will ruin you. And they’re ruining the lives of the countless young women who once looked up to you.  It’s easy for you to promote drug use because you have the money to spend on them. You work in an industry that embraces them. 

The millions of young men and women who listen to your music and idolize you don't. For them, drug use will make them lose their jobs. It will make them broke. It will make them addicts, without the luxury of a vacation that is also a rehab center.

People like Kim and Miley make it hard for young minds to differentiate between right and wrong, and, truth be told, it’s changed my views as well.

Because of these women, I’m beginning to hate feminism, and I’m female.

I almost hope we can no longer push the envelope of creativity, and I’m a writer.

I’m loathing the fact that we always seem to pursue happiness, and I am an extremely happy person.

I am sick and tired of all of these things, and I was once a passionate pursuer of them all.

I’m sick of those things because of the tragedies that accompany them. This current generation - and I'm talking about my own - wants all of life's luxuries without having to work for them, and they hope that those material things will make them happy. The era of social media has shown that young women are promoting themselves in the same way as Kim and Miley, despite having no celebrity status.  It has become blatantly obvious – to me, anyway – that a vast majority of young people are so narcissistic that they cannot even fathom finding fulfillment in anything but their own wants and desires, and our culture is saying that’s okay.  

It’s a sad thing, what our world has become, what world we are leaving to our children.

But I don’t think all hope is lost.

What our young women need are strong role models.  And while I can’t control what trash the television spews out, I can control the conversations I have with my daughter about these women. I can recognize both the beauty and the flaws of those celebrities. But even better, I can compare the beauty of those women to the beauty of others.

I’m lucky. I have a lot of friends and family members in my life who are truly beautiful, who I can use for examples when my daughter asks. But I'll tell you about just one.

I have a best friend that most of you would love to hate.

In fact, I’d love to hate her.

But I can’t.  

I would love to hate my best friend because she is good at almost everything.

Think I’m exaggerating? I’m not.  For one, she owns her own successful business: Pure Dixie (Cowboy Couture). She designs and produces one-of-a-kind, handmade accessories out of leather. Yes, I may be shamelessly promoting her business, but in order for you to really get an idea of her talent, take a look at some of her stuff:

Beautiful, isn't it?  Even if you’re not country at all, you have to admire her artistic ability, the fact that almost every single thing she creates is one-of-a-kind and is produced with perfect results.

You want to know something even more disgustingly awesome?

That’s her.  The beautiful woman who is modeling her belts and purses is her.

She is stunning. Believe me, for four years I lived with her and had to compare myself to her as we got ready in the morning. It wasn't an easy thing to do, trust me.

But do you want to know how I did it, how I was able to live with her and not succumb to jealousy or pity parties?

I did it because of her. 

She – amidst all of her beauty – would tell me how beautiful I was.  She – as smart as she was – would tell me I was intelligent.  She was artistic and athletic and would nurture these abilities in me as well, always congratulating and pushing me and believing in me.

What my best friend did for me - what she continues to do - is what is lacking in this world.

She has used her talents, her beauty, and her intelligence to empower others. She will be the first to tell you that she's made mistakes, but also the first to tell you that - by the grace of God - she's forgiven. She has always and will always give glory to God and to everyone but herself.  And she will always point out the good in others without noting the good in herself.

And she does this because she sees more than herself when she looks in the mirror.  She constantly strives to see a reflection of a servant, sent here to wash people’s feet the same way Jesus washed the feet of the disciples.

That's the kind of businesswoman I want my daughter to learn from, the kind of beauty that should truly be admired.

When my daughter notes that Kim Kardashian (or whoever the sensation of her generation will be) is beautiful, I’ll agree. And then I’ll ask my daughter a few questions about the star. What do you think she values most about herself? Is it something that is guaranteed to last? No? Then how do you think that affects her confidence? Her love for herself? I will point out to my daughter how others – like my best friend – have always put more effort into becoming more beautiful on the inside than on the outside because they know that those things matter.

When she asks why the Miley Cyrus of her generation wants to sing about getting high, I'll ask her to think about what it is that the young star is trying to escape from. If she points out the money that young starlet has, I will point out that God has the ability to gift us with worldly possessions, but that the true blessings he has for us are not of this world.

This is how my best friend lives, and I'm thankful I can use her as an example for my child.

I'm thankful there are a lot of beautiful, intelligent, honorable, creative, talented, and kind women out there. And I need to make sure that I point my children toward them while the rest of the world points them to women like Kim and Miley.

What kind of message will you send your children?

Will you teach them to be a servant to others? Or a slave to this world?

Will you teach them to embrace the “feminists” of our time who pursue ungodly things, or the true pioneers of feminism, like Susan B. Anthony and Margaret Thatcher?

Will you teach them to create so their talents will receive accolades, or will you show them the true joy of giving the glory to God?

Humans in general, we need to take a true selfie.  Look in the mirror.  And don’t make it a duck face, or a surprised gasp, or a glance down and to the left to hide the shameless self-promotion.  Look in the mirror and ask what you are doing to help others, to give the glory to everyone but yourself.

And when you do that, you will see what true beauty really is.

It'll look a lot like my friend, Pure Dixie.

The Glory of Gratitude

Days like Veteran's Day are my favorite.  They are days of reflection, days where you actually take the time from your busy life to appreciate everything that causes you to rush. They are days where we can appreciate all we have even amidst the chaos and the stress.

Waking up early to a baby? Wow! What a gift babies are! Taking a shower in the morning before work? Can you believe that we are spoiled enough to have hot water so readily available?  Stuck in traffic?  I can't believe we have the luxury of automobiles.  Too busy at work to eat lunch?  How great it is that we have jobs and food readily available!  And even if we don't have one or more of the things listed above, it's incredible that we live in a country where we can get the help we need when we are lacking.

Veteran's Day. It's a day to honor the men and women who fought with glory, and it's held in the month where we live in gratitude. I wish we could live all days like we live today.

The men and women who have fought or died for our freedom for two and a half centuries deserve so much more than twenty-four hours.  They deserve more than their meager pay, more even than all of the blessings I've listed above.  But when I've spoken to veterans, what they've appreciated most is this:

A thank you.

So I decided to write about the things in life I am thankful for: things that I wouldn't have if it wasn't for the sacrifice of so many brave souls.  The crazy thing about thankfulness is this: Once you start thinking about all of the ways you are fortunate, your gratitude can't seem to stop. So I apologize if you think I'm being to grandiose in my gratitude, but truly, I'm not exaggerating.

I'm blessed.

I love my son.  So much, in such a different way than I love my daughter.  I love his dimpled knuckles, his rubber band wrists, the way his eyelashes spill over the top of his cheek ones when he sleeps.  As a baby, I loved it when he continuously paused when nursing and smiled up at me, as if to say, “Thanks, Mom!” 

Makes me want to kiss his cheeks off.

I love my daughter’s kind and caring soul. She wants everyone around her to be happy.  Her ideal day would consist of someone holding her hand wherever she walked and hugging her whenever they could.  She is smart and funny, a combination that always keeps us on our toes.  She is in love with love. She gasps at Cinderella in her wedding dress and dances with her stuffed animals as Cinderella dances with her prince on the TV.  Her heart is so genuine and caring.  She’s only three, and at times her age and the drama that goes with it makes me want to scream, but the purity of her heart is unparalleled, and I wish I could be more like her.

I am so thankful to have my babies: at different times, they are a reflection of my husband, of me, of our other family members.  I am so thankful God gave us them to give us a taste of how much He loves us.

I am thankful for a warm home filled with things that comfort my soul when I want to rest.  Sure, part of it looks like a daycare.  But that’s okay.  Those toys bring comfort to my kids’ soul the same way that thick blanket slung over the couch brings comfort to mine.

I am thankful for my health and for the health of my family.  Too many people I love lately have been sick.  Too many. And I can only thank God that He gave us souls to not only make our bodies fight harder against sickness, but to triumph over the sickness in the end.

One of those sick people is my grandma. And it's hard to see her health failing.  It's hard to see her prepare to leave this world, because she's so much more to me than "just" a grandma.  Last year around this time, my husband and I got to go on a double date with my grandparents.  About halfway through the meal I reveled at the fact that somewhere along the way, I didn't just respect and love them like one is supposed to love his or her grandparents. I’d grown to truly love their companionship.  

They – at 89 and 93 – are my husband’s and my close friends.  I’d choose to spend time with them over almost anyone else.  And these people held me as an infant and saw me through my worst tantrums and awkward stages.  Amazing.

I am grateful for my friends, who I've collected into my own selective family over the years.  My closest friends are such amazing servants of God.  They love me, give me grace, at times even stumble with me, but they always push me to be a better reflection of Christ.  I am proud of them and what each unique person is, and I always try to be more like them, a better servant to God and less of a slave to the world.

There are so, so many other things for me to be thankful for: my faith, my husband, my relationship with Christ, my job, my other family members, my things, my students, my freedom, my…, my…, my… 

Both the most wonderful thing about days like today is the certainty that those can be written about another day.  I have the safety and security to know that those things will be there tomorrow and the next day. Amazing.  So many people don't.

Veterans, thank you.  Thank you.  Your love for our country - your love for us - is phenomenal.  Thank you for giving me all of the gifts I listed above and the freedom it takes to write about it. 

Thank you for sacrificing so I can relish the simple things and have too many blessings to write about in one day.