Kim and Miley, Meet Pure Dixie

Kim Kardashian. 

I look at her, and my jaw drops.  She is stunning in the way that I imagine Helen of Troy to be.  My hair will never shine like hers, and I will never be able to perfect a sultry stare under lengthy lashes.  Having children of my own, I can’t believe how amazing her body is after carrying a child just over a year ago.  Her style is inspirational for women who love fashion, and at the very least it catches the eye of people like me, who have no fashion sense whatsoever.

She is a beautiful woman.  Just gorgeous.

And despite really, really, trying not to like her at all, there are quite a few reasons why I admire Miley Cyrus as well.

I mean, come on. The girl shaved half of her hair off and still looks feminine. How is that even possible? She was thrust into the limelight at such a crazy, young, insecure age, and she tried for years to hide her adolescent mistakes in order to be what people wanted to her to be. And through it all, she built an empire: a business that went far beyond her musical talent.  When she sings – especially with no help from machines, foam fingers, or giant teddy bears – she makes me listen with my ears and my heart.  She has a strong, throaty voice that drips with emotion, and emotion is the reason we all listen to music, anyway.

She is so incredibly talented.  What a gift God has given her.

By society's standards, these two women are successful, and I can see why.

But I wish they could see beyond our world's definition of success. I wish they could see past the temporary highs and beyond the idolatry of money. I wish they would use their gifts in such a way that we want to worship our God for creating people like them, for giving us just a glimpse of the beauty and talent that He possesses whenever we revel in their beauty and talent.

But my heart breaks because the rare beauty in them is being masked by their brokenness.

Kim Kardashian recognizes that her beauty and physique are her brand. Desperate to push that brand forward, she posed nude for all to see. But Kim Kardashian, your body is more than beautiful.

It is sacred.

I just wish you knew that.

Miley Cyrus knows she’s talented, so she has surrounded herself with people who will only tell her how perfect she is, ones who will allow her to do tragic things and even give her a pat on the back for it.

But Miley Cyrus, those drugs will ruin you. And they’re ruining the lives of the countless young women who once looked up to you.  It’s easy for you to promote drug use because you have the money to spend on them. You work in an industry that embraces them. 

The millions of young men and women who listen to your music and idolize you don't. For them, drug use will make them lose their jobs. It will make them broke. It will make them addicts, without the luxury of a vacation that is also a rehab center.

People like Kim and Miley make it hard for young minds to differentiate between right and wrong, and, truth be told, it’s changed my views as well.

Because of these women, I’m beginning to hate feminism, and I’m female.

I almost hope we can no longer push the envelope of creativity, and I’m a writer.

I’m loathing the fact that we always seem to pursue happiness, and I am an extremely happy person.

I am sick and tired of all of these things, and I was once a passionate pursuer of them all.

I’m sick of those things because of the tragedies that accompany them. This current generation - and I'm talking about my own - wants all of life's luxuries without having to work for them, and they hope that those material things will make them happy. The era of social media has shown that young women are promoting themselves in the same way as Kim and Miley, despite having no celebrity status.  It has become blatantly obvious – to me, anyway – that a vast majority of young people are so narcissistic that they cannot even fathom finding fulfillment in anything but their own wants and desires, and our culture is saying that’s okay.  

It’s a sad thing, what our world has become, what world we are leaving to our children.

But I don’t think all hope is lost.

What our young women need are strong role models.  And while I can’t control what trash the television spews out, I can control the conversations I have with my daughter about these women. I can recognize both the beauty and the flaws of those celebrities. But even better, I can compare the beauty of those women to the beauty of others.

I’m lucky. I have a lot of friends and family members in my life who are truly beautiful, who I can use for examples when my daughter asks. But I'll tell you about just one.

I have a best friend that most of you would love to hate.

In fact, I’d love to hate her.

But I can’t.  

I would love to hate my best friend because she is good at almost everything.

Think I’m exaggerating? I’m not.  For one, she owns her own successful business: Pure Dixie (Cowboy Couture). She designs and produces one-of-a-kind, handmade accessories out of leather. Yes, I may be shamelessly promoting her business, but in order for you to really get an idea of her talent, take a look at some of her stuff:

Beautiful, isn't it?  Even if you’re not country at all, you have to admire her artistic ability, the fact that almost every single thing she creates is one-of-a-kind and is produced with perfect results.

You want to know something even more disgustingly awesome?

That’s her.  The beautiful woman who is modeling her belts and purses is her.

She is stunning. Believe me, for four years I lived with her and had to compare myself to her as we got ready in the morning. It wasn't an easy thing to do, trust me.

But do you want to know how I did it, how I was able to live with her and not succumb to jealousy or pity parties?

I did it because of her. 

She – amidst all of her beauty – would tell me how beautiful I was.  She – as smart as she was – would tell me I was intelligent.  She was artistic and athletic and would nurture these abilities in me as well, always congratulating and pushing me and believing in me.

What my best friend did for me - what she continues to do - is what is lacking in this world.

She has used her talents, her beauty, and her intelligence to empower others. She will be the first to tell you that she's made mistakes, but also the first to tell you that - by the grace of God - she's forgiven. She has always and will always give glory to God and to everyone but herself.  And she will always point out the good in others without noting the good in herself.

And she does this because she sees more than herself when she looks in the mirror.  She constantly strives to see a reflection of a servant, sent here to wash people’s feet the same way Jesus washed the feet of the disciples.

That's the kind of businesswoman I want my daughter to learn from, the kind of beauty that should truly be admired.

When my daughter notes that Kim Kardashian (or whoever the sensation of her generation will be) is beautiful, I’ll agree. And then I’ll ask my daughter a few questions about the star. What do you think she values most about herself? Is it something that is guaranteed to last? No? Then how do you think that affects her confidence? Her love for herself? I will point out to my daughter how others – like my best friend – have always put more effort into becoming more beautiful on the inside than on the outside because they know that those things matter.

When she asks why the Miley Cyrus of her generation wants to sing about getting high, I'll ask her to think about what it is that the young star is trying to escape from. If she points out the money that young starlet has, I will point out that God has the ability to gift us with worldly possessions, but that the true blessings he has for us are not of this world.

This is how my best friend lives, and I'm thankful I can use her as an example for my child.

I'm thankful there are a lot of beautiful, intelligent, honorable, creative, talented, and kind women out there. And I need to make sure that I point my children toward them while the rest of the world points them to women like Kim and Miley.

What kind of message will you send your children?

Will you teach them to be a servant to others? Or a slave to this world?

Will you teach them to embrace the “feminists” of our time who pursue ungodly things, or the true pioneers of feminism, like Susan B. Anthony and Margaret Thatcher?

Will you teach them to create so their talents will receive accolades, or will you show them the true joy of giving the glory to God?

Humans in general, we need to take a true selfie.  Look in the mirror.  And don’t make it a duck face, or a surprised gasp, or a glance down and to the left to hide the shameless self-promotion.  Look in the mirror and ask what you are doing to help others, to give the glory to everyone but yourself.

And when you do that, you will see what true beauty really is.

It'll look a lot like my friend, Pure Dixie.